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Couples Counseling Are you stuck in communication patterns that leave you disconnected from your partner? Are you feeling lost in how to stop seemingly endless cycles of conflict? I can help! Partners can easily become caught in repeated negative interaction cycles that create disconnection and build resentment overtime. Utilizing my training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), I can help you to identify and shift these defeating interactions to improve communication and create a stronger, lasting emotional connection in your relationship. Your relationship can become a safe haven where you feel more accepted, supported, and secure! My experience with EFT has proven beneficial for military families, LGBTQ+ couples, and neurodivergent partners. Couples have found it to be an approachable method for various relationship circumstances! I have also assisted couples in addressing a range of concerns that can uniquely disrupt and distress relationships, including recovery from infidelity or betrayal and managing high levels of conflict. Below is a brief overview of what our work together will look like. Each individual, couple, and situation is different and unique, and we will work together to set personalized goals for your relationship and work toward those goals at the pace that works for both partners. |
EFT Stages
Stage 1: De-escalation and Engagement
To begin, I'll conduct an initial assessment to understand your relationship dynamics, personal histories, attachment patterns, and individual concerns. Together, we'll identify the negative interaction patterns contributing to emotional disconnection and conflict. I will guide each partner in expressing and validating their underlying emotions, needs, and vulnerabilities. We will then work on restructuring these negative cycles by promoting more adaptive communication and attachment behaviors (such as active listening, empathetic responding, assertive expression).
Example: We will map out your typical conflict cycle, identifying each partners role and attachment strategy. (E.g. Partner A often feels criticized and withdraws, while Partner B feels ignored and escalates the argument).
Stage 2: Restructuring and Change
We will work together to promote security by creating new emotional experiences that strengthen your emotional bond. You will deepen your emotional engagement by sharing inner thoughts, fears, and needs more openly, cultivating safety and trust. I will facilitate the repair of past relationship injuries by guiding you in offering and accepting apologies and forgiveness, allowing for healing and rebuilding of trust. We will reinforce the creation of new, healthier interaction patterns.
Example:
Parter B: "When you withdraw, I feel really alone and scared that you don’t care about me. I need reassurance that you care and that you are still committed to me.”
Partner A: “I hear you saying that you feel alone and scared when I pull away. I do care about you and want to be with you; when I feel overwhelmed, I don’t know how to respond.”
Stage 3: Integration and Consolidation
I will support each of you in developing a sense of autonomy and individual identity within your relationship while maintaining emotional connection and interdependence. Together, we will consolidate the positive changes made during therapy and apply them to other areas of your lives, celebrating your progress and addressing any remaining challenges. We'll also discuss strategies and resources to prevent relapse and maintain your gains, including creating a relapse prevention plan and practicing ongoing communication skills.
Example: Partners A & B: "We have come so far and worked so hard in changing our negative cycle! Some additional concerns or challenges we might foresee in maintaining these changes are [...] and we can continue to prioritize connection and address barriers by [...]"
Together, you and your partner have the capacity to create a secure and lasting emotional bond that can weather storms which bring disconnection. I look forward to joining alongside you in this work.
-Tess Hosier, LPC
Fees: $150 per couples session, 50-55 minutes in length.
*We do not take insurance for couples therapy. As systemic therapists The Couple is our client. We are treating the relationship, not an individual. Thus, we cannot provide an individual diagnosis for a couple, which is required for insurance billing.
Please reach out for more info!
Stage 1: De-escalation and Engagement
To begin, I'll conduct an initial assessment to understand your relationship dynamics, personal histories, attachment patterns, and individual concerns. Together, we'll identify the negative interaction patterns contributing to emotional disconnection and conflict. I will guide each partner in expressing and validating their underlying emotions, needs, and vulnerabilities. We will then work on restructuring these negative cycles by promoting more adaptive communication and attachment behaviors (such as active listening, empathetic responding, assertive expression).
Example: We will map out your typical conflict cycle, identifying each partners role and attachment strategy. (E.g. Partner A often feels criticized and withdraws, while Partner B feels ignored and escalates the argument).
Stage 2: Restructuring and Change
We will work together to promote security by creating new emotional experiences that strengthen your emotional bond. You will deepen your emotional engagement by sharing inner thoughts, fears, and needs more openly, cultivating safety and trust. I will facilitate the repair of past relationship injuries by guiding you in offering and accepting apologies and forgiveness, allowing for healing and rebuilding of trust. We will reinforce the creation of new, healthier interaction patterns.
Example:
Parter B: "When you withdraw, I feel really alone and scared that you don’t care about me. I need reassurance that you care and that you are still committed to me.”
Partner A: “I hear you saying that you feel alone and scared when I pull away. I do care about you and want to be with you; when I feel overwhelmed, I don’t know how to respond.”
Stage 3: Integration and Consolidation
I will support each of you in developing a sense of autonomy and individual identity within your relationship while maintaining emotional connection and interdependence. Together, we will consolidate the positive changes made during therapy and apply them to other areas of your lives, celebrating your progress and addressing any remaining challenges. We'll also discuss strategies and resources to prevent relapse and maintain your gains, including creating a relapse prevention plan and practicing ongoing communication skills.
Example: Partners A & B: "We have come so far and worked so hard in changing our negative cycle! Some additional concerns or challenges we might foresee in maintaining these changes are [...] and we can continue to prioritize connection and address barriers by [...]"
Together, you and your partner have the capacity to create a secure and lasting emotional bond that can weather storms which bring disconnection. I look forward to joining alongside you in this work.
-Tess Hosier, LPC
Fees: $150 per couples session, 50-55 minutes in length.
*We do not take insurance for couples therapy. As systemic therapists The Couple is our client. We are treating the relationship, not an individual. Thus, we cannot provide an individual diagnosis for a couple, which is required for insurance billing.
Please reach out for more info!
